I started my two week block placement on Monday. This means for all you non-teacher types, that I’ll be teaching for the next 14 days or 336 hours or 20 160 minutes, give or take a bathroom break or two. It’s been crazy, exhausting, frustrating and so much freakin fun! And I’ve got some great laughable teaching moments to report.
On Wednesday, I was leading the kids through a gym lesson on how to throw a ball. Seems pretty straight forward, but it is a skill which needs to be taught. And for some of the kids (and this is not only in my class, but a general observation I’ve made about little humans) the closest they come to physical activity is the bowling game on the Wii. Needless to say, I had my hands full.
After I handed out the bean bags (can’t start with real balls, someone might get hurt….it’s that bad), I began demonstrating the proper technique for throwing underhand. Everything was going great, except for one tiny little problem. No one was paying attention to me.
Me: Ok, girls and boys, I’m going to show you how to properly throw underhand.
Student: Look at me; I can balance the bean bag on my head.
Me: That’s great Johnny, but just hold it in your hands.
Student: Ha ha, I can balance it on my foot.
Me: Please just hold onto the bean bag, and watch me.
Student: Hey everyone, I can throw it up to the ceiling!
Me (in my kindest teacher voice): Ladies and gentlemen, eyes on me!
Student: Aweseome, I can juggle it with just one hand!
At this point, you may have felt what seemed to be another earthquake in southern Ontario. Have no fear, it was only my patience cracking!
Me: PUT THE BEAN BAG ON THE RED LINE AND LOOK AT ME!!!!
Student: I can throw the bean bag up to the ceiling and catch it with my butt...with my eyes closed, coooooolllllll!
Me: *#^@&^#%&@%#$!%@^##%$**!^#&#*&!%@$...... (deep breath, count to 10).......that's it, gym class is over!
Student: What's wrong with Mrs. G, I was having such a great time!
GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
They should teach "drinking for your sanity 101" in teacher's college. I'd get an A+ no problem!
Don't worry, I'll more stories to share.....after the 2 tylenols, 3 gravols and pepto clear up my wicked "headache".
I recently had dinner with some of the funniest and brightest women I know. Before the pinot grigio kicked in (and the conversation became rated R), someone asked “if you could change one thing from your younger years, what would it be?”
Now, I strongly believe in the idea that everything happens for a reason, so I’m reluctant to pin point one thing I would change. Instead, I thought, if I could be a sort of mentor to my 16 year old self, what would I tell myself? So here’s the advice I wish someone had given me 15 years ago.
1. Popularity wanes, brains stay forever. Embrace your intelligence and don’t worry what the ‘cool’ kids think - they won’t amount to anything spectacular.
2. He got the toilet paper from the bathroom, so don’t ask. You’ll just end up looking like an idiot!
3. The van does not belong to his friend. Don’t get in!
4. Brockville is worth the resulting two months of grounding. Enjoy yourself.
5. Tim Horton’s won’t always have a pie counter - indulge while you still can.
6. Sign up for Latin in grade 10. Pineridge is not worth your time.
7. Ms. Vanwow is just trying to teach Latin to a bunch of hormonal teenagers, give her a break.
8. Forget about the perm, you’ll look ridiculous.
9. When you go to university, sit in the front row, pay attention and learn. It is way harder to do it when you have 3 kids hanging off of you.
10. You will have 3 boys. Don’t worry though, you’ll learn to love hockey.
11. Apply to teacher’s college in 1997. By the time you are 33, you’ll have 10 years experience, and probably a student teacher following you!
12. That geeky computer thing called the internet will take off. Find the founders of Google and make them your friends!
13. Travel - road trips to Wonderland don’t count.
14. Stick with the good guys. The bad ones will only break your heart. The good ones will support and love you no matter what.
15. You are not fat!
16. 30 is not old!
17. Why are you smoking? So not cool, my dear
18. Don’t bother with history. It’s way too hard and boring. Go with sociology, it’s the closest thing you’ll find to a degree in conspiracy theories.
19. Stand up for your "sista", she’ll still have your back in 15 years.
20. Moisturize.
21. The suede vest is so not worth it, save your money and buy something from Kmart.
22. Be nice to your bus driver. She gets paid very little to deal with your crap!
23. Most importantly, enjoy life. You’ll love (most of) it!
“They” say that every child is born with the ability to sing beautifully, but through years of criticism and snide comments, that natural ability is slowly erased. By the time we reach adulthood, most of us can’t carry a tune, or confine our singing strictly to the shower. The same can be said about dancing, drawing…basically performing.
The other day, as T and I were running some errands (i.e. mom’s nightly Timmie’s run), I asked him if his school held dances. You probably remember this wonderful rite of passage….girls on one side of the gym, boys on the other. And if anyone was brave enough to cross that boundary, you slowed danced at arm lengths.
Anyways, he replied with “no, but I can’t dance so I wouldn’t go even if they did.” I found this kind of disturbing, because if you know me you know that I love to dance! I won’t be on “So you think you can dance” anytime soon, but I think I do a good job of moving my arms and legs in a somewhat coordinated fashion. Kinda like this.....(no need to watch the whole thing, you'll get my point pretty quickly)
And I don't care.
What was I talking about? Oh right....later that evening, we were cruising down memory lane, watching some old home videos, and who do I see but my sweet little “T” at the tender age of 4 bustin a move. He was dancing and moving around in such a free and natural way. And he clearly didn’t care who was watching him. Somewhere between the age of 4 and 12, “T” got the message that he couldn’t dance. How does this happen?
If you have a free minute, watch Sir Ken Robinson’s speech on creativity in schools or rather lack of. Riveting stuff!
His message is pretty much bang on. During the 12 years that kids are in school, we slowly wean out the creativity and replace it with robotic thinking and a fear of being wrong. Just look at how the curriculum is broken down: mandatory 90 minutes of literacy a day, 60 minutes of mathematics and just 30 minutes per week of art (whether it is drama, dance, visual arts or music - only 1 period per week to cover the arts). We tell the kids to be walk quietly through the halls, raise your hand, follow the rules, stand in a straight line, don’t pick your nose…. ok maybe that last one is a good thing. With the exception of recess, students are told over and over again, stay in the box and you’ll succeed.
The underlying message is crystal clear - creativity will get you nowhere in life. We’ve all heard about the “starving artist”, but how many times have you heard of the “starving banker, starving lawyer or starving CEO.” Even worse, is that if you show just a glimpse of “out of the box thinking”, you’re automatically categorized with the vegan, far left, tree hugger types (not that there is anything wrong with “those” people)
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that we scrap reading and math and replace it with group chanting of Kumbaya. But what’s wrong with adding some groove into the daily grind. Why are we striving to mass produce cookie-cutter kids?
Sir Robinson said it so eloquently: “if you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.” We live in a society that views mistakes as a life-ending event, a terrible flaw in need of immediate correction. But if we take a step back and look at some of the greatest inventions ever, we’ll see some pretty successful mistakes -Penicillin, Velcro, and my favorite - the potato chip, just to name a few.
So I’m on a freakin mission to bring back some groove and creativity into the classroom. I belt out O’Canada every morning (don’t worry, the kids have grown accustom to their bleeding ears!) I try my best at painting, drawing, and sculpting. I even have plans to teach a dance/rhythm lesson next week (sorry if you just had coffee/beverage of choice come out your nose) Even more impressive is that I’ll do it without the help of “liquid courage!”
I’ve quickly figure out that I don’t want to produce a whole class of mini-Jenn’s (thank God too, cause that would be just plain scary!) I want the kids to see that you can fun being creative, and bopping to the beat. I want them to take chances and risks (academically - I don’t want them to have a starring role in Jackass) . If they can think on their own and question the status quo even better!
By being creative and innovative in my teaching, I hope that I pass on a love of learning and exploration. Maybe then, in 2040, one of my students will accidently create a viable fuel out of water or solve world peace. Even better, they might become teachers themselves and continue my message of groovin!
With this in mind, I've decided to assign my first homework assignment to all my dear blog followers. You're mission is to crank some great music and dance like theres no tomorrow. It can be anything - AC/DC, Justin Bieber, Elvis, 50cent, whatever, just go out there and get your groove on!
