The 9 year old card shark

Last night, when the older boys were out acting like a bunch barbarians on the ice (aka playing hockey), “K” and I enjoyed some mom and son time together.  Since it was late at night, I had thought we would climb into bed, read a few books and discuss the recent downturn in the American economy (good times, good times).  “K”, on the other hand had other ideas.  Like any good “G” boy would, he wanted to play blackjack - betting and all. I love my children with all my heart, and I am always looking for teachable moments in our daily activities. However, I wasn’t sure if swindling him out of his allowance money would fall into the “life lesson” category.  But when he pulled out the cards, poker chips and starting laying down the ground rules (dealer draws on 16 and stands on all 17’s, house pays 3 to 2, etc), I knew he was no rookie.  When he asked if I wanted a complimentary drink from the bar, I knew the gloves were off!

Still clinging to hope that we could incorporate some learning into the dealings, I convinced myself that math  was somehow involved.  And it was.  He had to add up the numbers, calculate bet amounts and figure out a payment plan for the money I borrowed from him. But because he's still only 9 years old, he needed help with the numbers. Not being the stealthiest kid around, he did his counting aloud. While I was waiting for my drink refills, he would sneak in some finger counting - so freakin cute.  And despite his numerical troubles, he still won. Actually, to say he won would be a huge understatement, kicked my butt is more like it.  And the little jig he did as he walked away, tells me he was relishing in his victory a little too much.  This definetely turned into a life lesson - for ME!  Never trust someone who can bat their eyes, is under 5 feet tall and can do fancy card shuffling tricks.

  When I was tucking him to bed later on in the evening, he took my cheeks into his hands and ever-so sweetly told me "Mom, I'll always love you....even if you fall behind on your payments"  Such a loving son!

Mangled Mouths and the poop truck

Returning to school at my age wasn’t as glamorous as it sounded.  Sure, I had an excuse to wear my pajamas in public and the student discount was sweet, but the overall experience was very different from when I was there 15 years ago.  First of all, pub nights aren’t as fun when you’re dragging 3 boys along (although I’m pretty sure K could drink me under the table).  And when your professors are younger than you, it’s nearly impossible to plead “my kids are sick and my bills are overdue, so can I please get an extension” because they still live with mom and dad, and think that money grows on trees.  But the biggest drawback of finishing school at my age is that, unlike many of my younger classmates, (who still have OSAP money leftover and are discovering themselves by travelling the world) I need to find a job ASAP.  Having been in school for the past 5 years, I was able to escape the drudgery of full time work because I was “studying”.  But now that my academic career has come to an end, I have no more excuses. 

The very idea of having a double income is enough to drive my husband wild.  Being able to actually afford the finer things in life – like housing, clothing and food – has always been a distant fantasy for my family.  OK, it hasn’t been that tight, but I’m pretty sure Peter is sick and tired of us stealing from him to pay Paul.  C wants me to get a job so badly that instead of “sexting” me, he now forwards me the classifieds.

There is only one little problem – I don’t want to find a full time job (teaching or otherwise).  The past year was so freaking stressful that just thinking about working makes my hair turn a shade of gray that even 10 boxes of Nice n’ Easy couldn’t hide (that’s not to say that gray can and does look regal and fabulous on certain people J)   All I want to do is return to driving the school bus.  Not to brag, but I’m a kick-ass bus driver.  Unlike in the classroom, when I’m on the bus I’m calm, cool and 100% confident in my ability to get the job done.  The heart palpitations and sweaty palms which frequently greeted me at the classroom door don’t even bother showing up the bus stop, cause they know they’re not on the manifest, and the board wouldn’t let them ride with me (inside joke!).  Sure the pay sucks with bus driving, but the hours let me still tend to my “motherly” duties (read: I can nap in the afternoon and dine with my peeps on Thursday mornings)

To ease the hubby’s nerves, I’ve been sending out teaching resumes like crazy. But the fish aren’t biting – actually I think the pond is barren.  Well, not quite.  There are teaching jobs, you just have to know or be sleeping with someone to get them - I’m not that kinda gal.  Seriously, it can take years to get a full time permanent teaching job.  And requires that you be at the beck and call of a school board for the first 2 or 3 years.  That means no steady income, or benefits; two things which I can’t sit around waiting for.  This brings me to the point of this blog (sorry it took so long)

Ask any small child what they want to do when they grow up, and you’ll get a variety of answers.  A firefighter, a teacher, a NHL goalie are common responses.  No one ever, EVER says they want to drive the stinky poop truck that empties septic tanks.  But someone ends up doing this job.  How does that happen?  I found the answer in the strangest place - the orthodontist’s office.

I took the boys to an orthodontia consultation several weeks ago.  And without divulging too many details about the state of my boys’ mouths, I’ll just say that the doctor was booking his trip to Europe before we were out the door.  It’s going to take years and thousands of dollars’ worth of dental work to get the 3 boys’ teeth on the straight and narrow.  Sure, C’s insurance plan through work covers a portion of the cost, but nowhere near what we need it to.  That means that not a single track of metal will touch my boy’s pearly whites until I have a full time job with benefits. 
 

And that is how someone ends up driving the poop truck.  We all start the journey of life with an endless supply of hopes and dreams, then we become adults and get our asses whooped by reality.  We sign up for the poop truck gig thinking “I’ll just do this until my dream job comes along”, but then kids show up (and we all know how cheap kids are) or the rent goes up and all of a sudden you can’t walk away from the poopy job.  So you suck it up (literally) and keep working the crappy job, just so your kids have a better life than you did, or at least give have a chance to chase their dream job.

This is why I’m so hesitant to pursue jobs outside the realm of education. Sure I went to school for 5 years with the sole goal of becoming a teacher, but there are no jobs and my kids have mangled mouths.  Neither their teeth nor their very dry university funds can wait until I get a permanent teaching job.  But I know with 100% certainty that stepping away from the teaching industry means that I’ll never be back.  Our family will get used to the increased income and benefits, and we won’t be able to afford me walking away to join all of other teacher-wannabes chase jobs. 

So right now, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I want to do the responsible adult thing and get any job.  But I also don’t want to let go of my dream I worked so hard to reach.     Sigh………

Reading and Testosterone: An impossible mix?

There are few things in life that I absolutely adore. Most activities catch my attention for a week or two, and then slowly fall off the radar (that gym membership seemed like a great idea at the time). SWV, sleeping in and reading, however, have always been things I enjoy and are constantly fighting for my love and admiration – granted I tend to pit them against each other. If I could somehow find a way to read a great book, while enjoying a glass of SWV while sleeping into till noon, well I’d be a very happy woman. Despite my best efforts, I am yet to figure out how to drink in my sleep! Anyways – back to my point…….which is around here somewhere……give me a second….I just had it……ahhhh yes here it is……favorite things.

I love reading. I also love finding a book to read. I don’t like spending $19.95 on a book which sells for $1.05 in the States, nor do I like wasting paper, so I almost always get my books from the local library. I could (and have) spend hours cruising the aisles searching for my next read. The hunt for reading material is probably the same feeling shopaholics get during a 50% off sale at H&M’s – minus the snobby sales person, cat fights and shameful credit card bills. Yet, for some reason the family doesn’t share my enthusiasm for free books. When asked if they would like to join me, they often use the very stealthy tactic called “I was bored out of my skull a minute ago, but all of a sudden I think I might clean something so she won’t drag to that hellish place”. My husband reluctantly comes with me so he can use the angled parking and to ensure that I don’t “accidently” bring along 3 days’ worth of food rations just in case I get “stuck” in the self-help section. But he never, ever borrows books – EVER! Where did I go wrong????

Once I get the books home, I tend to be consumed by the books. In fact, when I’m reading a good book, nothing else matters. Rather than Sunday night “fancy dinner”, we have “fend for yourself night”. The “smell it to see if it’s still good” rule is re-enacted and the dust bunny population reaches epic proportions (see my September 8 2010 post). And again, my family doesn’t seem to understand. They say things like “Mom, I haven’t eaten in days…. I’m really hungry” or “My head stuck in the banister again” but I want to encourage their budding independence, so I ignore their pleas and keep on reading. Actually, my oldest has been known to pick up a book now and then. Twilight and Harry Potter were huge hits in the G household. But ever since Edward and Bella became the June and Ward Cleaver of the vampire world, T has all but sworn off reading. And despite my best efforts (read: bribes), I can’t get any of them to pick up a book. I’ve brought home graphic novels (I meant chapter comic books! You dirty pig!), sports magazines and choose your own adventures but still not a single page is turned in our house.

This lack of boy reading doesn’t appear be isolated to my house. Over the weekend, I took an informal poll, and discovered that while most women I know love to read, their male counterparts don’t. Why is this? I understand that most of “Heather’s Picks” from Chapters are oriented towards women, and adolescent girls have a billion “lovey-dovey” books to choose from, but there are tons of books geared towards men/boys. A quick Google search came up with a great book list - click here if interested. So I don’t understand why they don’t read.

I love being totally engulfed into the fictional lives of the books’ characters. If you’ve read “Sarah’s Key” then you know exactly what I mean. I am also disappointed if I can’t get into a book. I’ll push past the boring stuff hoping to get hooked, but it doesn’t always happen and I need to walk away (maybe they need a Viagra for book readers!) But I don’t give up on reading; I simply head back to the library and check out another book.

Maybe they don't like reading because it requires that you sit quietly for more than 7 ½ seconds and for my boys that is virtually an impossible task. But if you were to put a video game in front of them, they’d be good for hours. So really, there is no excuse.

Maybe it’s that men/boys just haven’t heard of any good “man” books. Maybe Don Cherry needs to start a book-club! I’m sure the ‘rock’em and read’em’ series would be a huge hit!

What about you? Does your husband/boys like to read?

I'M BAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!

Hi there, remember me? The funny, smart, beautiful, well-organized, professional, sexy,sweet girl of your dreams. No? Then why are you reading my blog? Its cause I smell good isn’t it? Its ok, it can be our little secret. Well, after 8 long months I’m back! I missed you so much. But I was so freakin busy with school and family demands that I barely had time to shower (maybe I don’t smell that good after all!). But that’s all water under the bridge; the important thing is that we’re back together – happy and smiling, right? So how have you been? How are the kids? The job? Enjoying the summer? Good, good, glad to hear that everything is well.

Since I finished school several months ago, some of you were probably thinking that the blog was also all done – well my friend, you were wrong. I enjoyed spilling the details of my personal life all over the internet so much, that I thought I keep doing it. Plus I’m bored. I’ve decided to keep the title “My Journey to Teaching” because it conveys the image of professionalism and I might be able to convince someone that I am actually a certified teacher. Well, that and I couldn’t figure out how to change the name and still keep my dedicated followers connected. So stayed tuned my little minions, I’ll be posting useless yet funny tales of an unemployed teacher very soon!

Love ya!