Walmart is open 24/7 for fools like me!

So I was at the doctors today (well, not really. I was self-diagnosing on the Internet) to discuss a sensitive issue I've been coping with for quite sometime now.  I'll spare you the gory details and let you know that after a lot of poking and probing, the "doctor" was able to provide me with a definitive diagnosis.  Its slightly embarrassing but I have officially been diagnosed with TFD - Totally Freakin Disorganized.

Symptoms of TFD can be difficult to recognize and are often confused with TFL - Totally Freakin Lazy.  The difference between the two, according to the "doctor" is that TFD sufferers actually want to overcome their ailment but almost always lose the recommended self-help book, while TFL sufferers just don't give a shit.  Symptoms of TFD include but are not limited to the constant need to be looking for car keys and/or cell phone; moderate to severe piles of laundry and the perpetual urge to eat KD and hot dogs for dinner (sufferers almost always forget to plan a healthy dinner).  Needless to say, the doctor said that I presented a textbook case of TFD. 

This diagnosis came as no surprise, I know I'm disorganized.  I'm constantly running around like a chicken with its head cut off and this time of year really brings out the worst in my "disorder".  Back in July I promised myself that this Christmas would be different.  I would be one of the first to send out cards, I'd have my baking done by mid-December (yes, I bake.  I make lemon squares that would make your grandma cry like a baby!) and all of the presents would be neatly wrapped (this of course, is assuming that the presents would be bought before December 1st).

Fast forward to today, with only 4 days left and what have I accomplished?  Diddly squat. Nada. Nichts.  Zip. Absolutely nothing!  Well that isn't exactly true.  I have bought one present, but I don't think it counts, cause it was for me and I bought it in August.  And I did get the cards ready before Decemeber 1st.  The only problem is that they've been sitting in a bag on my front hall bench every since.  Apparently you have to put a fancy-dancy thing called a "stamp" on the envelope, and you actually have to put the letters in the "mailbox". Who knew! 

Oh well, Christmas cards for 2012 are ready to go --- I'm so freaking organized!

So this Saturday, I highly suggest staying the "F" out of my way.  Cause I'll be the one, with an extra large vanilla latte supreme (Have you had one of these? One word: OMG!) tailgating you, screaming into the phone, begging Santa to delay Christmas for just one more day.


P.S. If I don't make it out of Walmart alive or sane - I wish you and yours the happiest and safest holiday season possible.  Drink a little too much, sleep in a little too late and thoroughly enjoy the time with family and friends.  Love you all!

P.P.S. If you lika da Jenn, please take a minute to subscribe to this blog.  With every subscription, you'll receive a snarly, stinky cute and polite boy. They come in sizes small, medium and large.  But hurry, quantities are limited.